Never in a million years did I think I would be able to let go of long held inhibitions to expose my naked form for all the world to see but here I am, and there seems to be a revolution brewing within... Something has come over me people, though, I can't quite put my finger on it.. Over the course of these last few years I have recognized when it comes to my naked body, you're either gonna hate it or you're gonna love it... and the beauty of it is I could care less how you feel. I do have my moments of insecurities of course but at the end of the day to each his own so if you don't love it someone else certainly will!!
SOOOO good finally being able write these words... but more importantly to FEEL them... Wholeheartedly...
Remember a few weeks back I had met with the amazing Jose Pagan of Pagan Photography?? Well, he invited me to be a part of his ground breaking Black Photo Experiment and I accepted.. a little hesitant at first but I understood these insecurities of mine have been imbedded in me for as long as I can remember and after careful consideration I decided to no longer be bound by this mental conditioning I held onto. For me the time is now and the truth of the matter is I may never have the perfectly toned and sculpted body I had been envisioning for years.. I've truly come to accept this fact. With Jose showing an interest in capturing my raw beauty I thought there really is no one else I could think to be this vulnerable around while feeling completely at ease.. This was my chance to help build not One but Two Legacies... To be a part of History through Art.
Flashback...
About 3 weeks ago I went dancing in NYC at Sofritos which is known for its Cocina Criolla, drinks and lounge atmosphere. I've been here a few times with my girlfriends and I always get to brush up on my Salsa.. It had been a long while since I went Salsa dancing, and I had been promising my girlfriend we would go for the longest so we headed over to the spot with some people with met at Latin Quarters where my DJ friend Rick the Finisher was spinning. I also happened to meet Cyn Darling.. Another really dope Photographer who captures some of the best shots of NYC nightlife. I get high from being around talented cultured people..
So we arrive to Sofritos and while there I met this tall, dark and insanely handsome Domincano. We hit it off right away and both he and I knew we would be each others dance partner for the rest of the night. He was such a strong partner, he loved the way I moved and I was insanely turned on by his rhythm as well. After talking, he loved my way... My words... my thoughts. He brought me closer to him and I felt my shirt ride up with his hand resting on my 'chicho'. Becoming insecure, I pulled away to which he said "You think I don't know what you got going on under there?.... If you think there is anything wrong with you, you're crazy.... Everything about you is beautiful... your mind, your face and your body... Anyone who doesn't like who you are and what you have to offer can go fuck themselves... You're a Goddess.. Always remember that."
Well, since you put it that way....
At that point I realized This guy is 1000% correct! I can tell game and I didn't feel he was trying to get at me with Bullshit. He already had me in his arms so there was no reason for that.. As he spoke he looked into my eyes with such intensity there was no room for doubt. He reaffirmed what I already know to be true about myself.. That I am so much more than the physical, but why not love ALL of me.
I brought my meeting with this gentleman up because this helped me become stronger in my conviction for my own personal journey towards body acceptance in turn helping me to accept Jose's invitation to be a part of something truly dynamic.
Flash Forward...
So after a long night in BK with some really dope MC's I got to meet, (Blog coming soon) my girlfriend Christina and I head to Jose Pagan Photography Studio in The Heights where I would participate in the Black light Water Sessions.
I arrive.
Jose shows me the studio with the pool all set up. I stepped out of my clothes and into a robe he provided for me as his assistant Anthony filled up the pool, making sure to keep it warm enough for me upon entering. Jose begins to paint my face and chest and I snap some shots of him in action.
Remember a few weeks back I had met with the amazing Jose Pagan of Pagan Photography?? Well, he invited me to be a part of his ground breaking Black Photo Experiment and I accepted.. a little hesitant at first but I understood these insecurities of mine have been imbedded in me for as long as I can remember and after careful consideration I decided to no longer be bound by this mental conditioning I held onto. For me the time is now and the truth of the matter is I may never have the perfectly toned and sculpted body I had been envisioning for years.. I've truly come to accept this fact. With Jose showing an interest in capturing my raw beauty I thought there really is no one else I could think to be this vulnerable around while feeling completely at ease.. This was my chance to help build not One but Two Legacies... To be a part of History through Art.
Flashback...
About 3 weeks ago I went dancing in NYC at Sofritos which is known for its Cocina Criolla, drinks and lounge atmosphere. I've been here a few times with my girlfriends and I always get to brush up on my Salsa.. It had been a long while since I went Salsa dancing, and I had been promising my girlfriend we would go for the longest so we headed over to the spot with some people with met at Latin Quarters where my DJ friend Rick the Finisher was spinning. I also happened to meet Cyn Darling.. Another really dope Photographer who captures some of the best shots of NYC nightlife. I get high from being around talented cultured people..
So we arrive to Sofritos and while there I met this tall, dark and insanely handsome Domincano. We hit it off right away and both he and I knew we would be each others dance partner for the rest of the night. He was such a strong partner, he loved the way I moved and I was insanely turned on by his rhythm as well. After talking, he loved my way... My words... my thoughts. He brought me closer to him and I felt my shirt ride up with his hand resting on my 'chicho'. Becoming insecure, I pulled away to which he said "You think I don't know what you got going on under there?.... If you think there is anything wrong with you, you're crazy.... Everything about you is beautiful... your mind, your face and your body... Anyone who doesn't like who you are and what you have to offer can go fuck themselves... You're a Goddess.. Always remember that."
Well, since you put it that way....
At that point I realized This guy is 1000% correct! I can tell game and I didn't feel he was trying to get at me with Bullshit. He already had me in his arms so there was no reason for that.. As he spoke he looked into my eyes with such intensity there was no room for doubt. He reaffirmed what I already know to be true about myself.. That I am so much more than the physical, but why not love ALL of me.
I brought my meeting with this gentleman up because this helped me become stronger in my conviction for my own personal journey towards body acceptance in turn helping me to accept Jose's invitation to be a part of something truly dynamic.
Flash Forward...
So after a long night in BK with some really dope MC's I got to meet, (Blog coming soon) my girlfriend Christina and I head to Jose Pagan Photography Studio in The Heights where I would participate in the Black light Water Sessions.
I arrive.
Jose shows me the studio with the pool all set up. I stepped out of my clothes and into a robe he provided for me as his assistant Anthony filled up the pool, making sure to keep it warm enough for me upon entering. Jose begins to paint my face and chest and I snap some shots of him in action.
Jose had constructed this massive headpiece which he had chosen me to adorn. Before I knew it, it was time to disrobe. Music reminiscent of Portishead playing in the background I felt right at home. Perfect ethereal vibe set which took me out of my head and into the moment.
Completely naked wearing only my 'crown' I was directed to lay in the pool flat on my back.. my backside being flattened forward rounding me out in front. My breast falling to either side.
Deep Breath.
Water happens to be my favorite of the elements, being a Pisces and all, so I felt right at home. Jose instructed me to remain perfectly still while taking the pictures
"Place you hand here... Grab over there... ok ready and Hold your Breath... 12345"
Exhale
After a series of shots we removed the headpiece and moved onto the next scene... Other models in attendance were getting ready for their sets as well so I was able to take a break while Fellow Model Cherry Fu did her thing.. Utterly AMAZING shots Cherry took, wait till you all see them... Kina arrives while Cherry is being photographed. Everyone is so helpful and sweet and open to being a part of True expression.. This is the type of art that will be seen in Galleries around the world.. What better way to live in infamy?
My girlfriend Christina was asked to be apart of the Black Light Photo Experiment impromptu and accepted!!! SO BLESSED Now I get to say I shared this experience with one of my best friends..
Anthony, Christina, Myself and Kina
Initially I thought I needed her there for moral support... but once I arrived all the nervous feelings I had dissipated. I have always dreamed of working amongst artists in this capacity. That day I was finally able to feed my artistic spirit, helping to build legacy collectively..
The photos will be out soon.. Thinking I would be anxious and nervous during the aftermath I feel quite the opposite. This is probably one of the most naturally intoxicating experiences I've ever had..
Stark Naked, I learned sometimes you have to be fearless.. Step outside of your own comfort zone.. be in your most vulnerable state.. At that moment you will witness how strong you really are.
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