Thursday, November 7, 2013

Fat Shaming VS Skinny Bashing- We Gotta Do Better People

 
When you go online and the first thing you read is the above post on Fat Shaming and you politely make your point in an attempt to shed some light without being combative on the issue only to be told you are "Obviously taking it personal" and that you "Have Issues" and "Beauty Starts from the Outside" (Errr?????) it becomes increasingly evident there are many distorted beauty standards derived of a male dominated media and society which continue to reign supreme with these superficial ideals perpetuated.
 
 The blessing here is how even more passionate I become in my personal movement as a Plus Size  Model and Writer when I read disillusioned messages like this. These beauty ideals have been way too strongly imbedded in women and men and have been known to directly correlate with self loathing, which leads to bullying, which can aid in the development of mental health problems, which can manifest in our daily relationships not limited to entering abusive relationships and or over compensating by engaging in risky behaviors for validation.
 
At one time I too believed that my worth 'lied' in being able to fit a certain size. I had to fight tooth and nail within myself over the years to overcome the ideals of beauty imposed on me by my family and the media. Instead of being brought to love and accept myself, as a little girl I was told these all too familiar (and insensitive) phrases...
 
"You would be pretty IF you lost some weight" or "You have a pretty face BUT you should really think about losing some weight.. Then you'd be perfect."
 
I hardly think this is a productive ad to ending child hood obesity #EndFatShaming
 
WTF?? So you're telling me my value as a human being is determined by the number on the scale?? The Size of my jeans???...  This is just so sad to me. It really wasn't until I was at my peak weight did I change my own perception that if I was going to attract the kind of love I sought I had to first Love Who I was.. and at that time that was all 290lbs of me. I mean just cause you don't like what you see doesn't mean I can't love me, does it?
 
Healthy living and TRUE beauty, the kind that allows you to attract your soul mate radiates from within. I know plenty of ugly from within skinny people just the same as I know ugly from within  Plus people.. If you have a toxic disposition you will always be without and I'm not talking material possessions. If you're always seeking to find the problem rather than the solution or judging someone A) how does that really help you or B) Others??
 
 
There also adversely exists Skinny bashing which I feel is also extremely relevant to the whole concept of Body Shaming. Someone really close to me had gone through this during childhood. She was constantly told how she was way too skinny and that men like meat on their bones but this was who she was and how she was born! She didn't choose to be skinny or have a fast metabolism. Nature Did that... If you're a religious person, GOD did that!!
 
Rather the emphasis being placed on building her to know and believe she is gorgeous just the way she is, it was wrongly placed on what others thought or would think of her. She led a shy childhood because of these insecurities which she attributed to being put down in turn leading her to enter into an abusive relationship. Greater problem of mental and physical health derive from not accepting oneself because we are conditioned to believe our worth is less than what it truly is..
 
In my mind, we are like Sofrito.. A whole bunch of different natural ingredients blended together contributing to make something even more delicious. Ever see a plus size person with a physically fit one? or a short person with someone tall?? That is the universe perfecting imperfection.. The universe tends to correct our human flaws through Irony.. Lifes little quirky joke that we take ourselves too seriously and in doing so miss out on the REAL of it all which is to love and be love.. And to be loved the right way starts with how well and much you love yourself AND others. 
 
Flavor, Diversity and respect for peoples differences create progress and contribute to Forward Motion. Stale Beauty Standards do not taste nor look good on anyone especial when the end result is self hatred. There are people who will never be satisfied there are people who will always have a problem with someone because they are internally void of happiness. Then there are elitist who truly believe they came out of a golden sack. There are people who feel the need to put others down to make themselves feel better hence the atrocious twitter celebration of Fat Shaming Week.
 
We Gotta Do Better People...
 
 
 

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